All mothers experience temper tantrums in children, whether it’s screaming, severe crying, throwing things, or a complete refusal to cooperate.
And although they are very exhausting, temper tantrums are a normal part of development and do not indicate that your child is “bad” or that your parenting is flawed.
In this comprehensive guide, we will learn about the main causes of temper tantrums in children, and then we will provide proven practical solutions to help you calm your child and significantly reduce the tantrums.
First: Why do temper tantrums happen in children?
The child’s inability to express their feelings
Children, especially between the ages of 2 and 6, do not have enough vocabulary to explain how they feel, so they use crying and screaming to express themselves.
Exhaustion or hunger
An exhausted or hungry child can easily lose control, even over very simple things.
The desire for independence
When there are too many demands or the child feels that their opinion is not being heard, they resort to a temper tantrum as a way of refusing.
Overstimulation
Markets, loud noises, gatherings… can overstimulate a child’s nervous system and trigger a temper tantrum.
Unclear boundaries
When the rules are inconsistent, the child becomes confused and tests boundaries through screaming and refusal.
The desire for attention
Especially with the arrival of a new baby or when the mother is busy.
Second: How to reduce temper tantrums? Practical steps for mothers
Establish a consistent daily routine
A sleep + eating routine reduces more than 60% of temper tantrums.
The child who knows what will happen feels safe.
Pay attention to the signs “before the explosion”
لاحظي العلامات المبكرة مثل:
- Rubbing the eyes
- stress
- Loud voice
- Minor resistance
Intervene early before it turns into a full-blown tantrum.
Get down to the child’s level and speak calmly.
Bend down, look into his eyes, and use a short sentence:
“I am here… I understand… I am here with you.”
This immediately reduces tension.
Use the “5-5-5” breathing rule
Teach the child:
Inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 5, exhale for 5.
It helps calm his nervous system.
Give your child choices instead of commands.
Instead of:
“Put on your pajamas now!”
Say:
Do you want the blue or red pajamas?
Because the child feels in control.
Ignore the behavior… and support the feelings.
Instead of focusing on the screaming, focus on what is behind it:
“I know you’re upset because the toy didn’t work.”
This helps the child calm down faster.
Do not punish during a temper tantrum
Punishment increases the explosion because it increases tension and does not reach the child.
Allow the child to express themselves safely
Say:
“It is okay to be angry… but it is not okay to hit.”
Set boundaries without suppression.
After calming down… talk about feelings
Ask him to tell you:
“What did you feel? What can I do to help you?”
This is where the child learns self-awareness.
Praise the child when they calm down
“I am proud of you because you were able to calm down quickly.”
This reinforces positive behavior.
Third: What do you do during a strong temper tantrum?
✔ Stay as calm as possible
✔ Do not argue with them while they are crying
✔ Move them away from the crowd (if you are in a public place)
✔ Hug them if they want
✔ Sit next to them and do not leave them alone
Fourth: When are temper tantrums abnormal?
If they are:
- Daily and very violent
- Lasting more than 20–30 minutes
- Causing harm to the child or others
- Occurring after age 7–8
The mother may need to consult a behavioral specialist.